A Good Start!

11/07/2010 07:39pm

Pardz.warren



"Haha. pumasok k dw tmrw. un ang sbi."



It was my second week at work, first work after graduating at college to be precise. Yes, everyday since my application is a fear and joy combined. FEAR that I may not be able to accomplish well every task that was given to me, and JOY, for overcoming it once in a while. One question that keeps running in my mind was-



"Bakit ba lagi ako inuunahan ng kaba? E sa huli natatapos ko din naman ng maayos..."



I don't know why. And yes, it is normal to humans to react in everything that happens. I just don't get it why I feel that way every day. How am I supposed to overcome it? maybe I can get used to it someday. SOMEDAY.



Today is a tranquil Sunday. I am here, sitting in front of the laptop, trying to type every word that comes out of my mind. And definitely, it feels good. As we all know, talking directly to someone and writing down what you feel is very different. In talking to someone, we might hold our tongue to something we don't want to say, while in writing down what we want, everything comes out. Well, going back to what I am trying to say, it is a peaceful sunday night right now. A while ago, I received a text message from a friend/co-worker. I asked him if I passed the call simulation. Yeah, at first I was hesitating to open the message but I really have to, just to find out. And he said,



" Haha. pumasok k dw tmrw. un ang sbi."



I get it. I made it! I passed the mid-assessment and the call simulation. After that, I was thinking. What's next? Here's that different heart beat again. Like an automatic ticking of the clock. Perhaps, I just have to DEAL with this. I know I can do this like everybody does. Probably, If the person don't know me yet, he might say I am overreacting. He might say I can just do it easily but I'm just acting like I don't know how to. But he's definitely wrong.



I grew up experiencing things while nobody cares to support me. In my whole life, nobody has said. "Go April, I know you can do it." Or might as well ask, "Do you want it? Go for it, I'm just at your back." Maybe this kind of feeling just started since the day I found out that nobody cares if I'm the best or I'm the loser.



Yes, despite of those things, I still made it. Even nobody believes in me. Even nobody cares. Because there is one thing I'm absolutely sure of. That there is someone UP there, that though He is not physically present, I can still connect to Him through prayers. And I can see Him whispering back through the great things that happens to me every single day. (: