An Open Letter for Myself

Hi Apple,

It's been a while. Looking at the mirror, you seem just fine. But are you?

I know how it feels like.

I know you've been telling some people close to you how confused you are with your emotion, mind, and spirit wise. It must be really hard for you. But I admire you actually for looking fine even if it really is the opposite of your current state. I admire you as well for keeping that classic smile for those people that surround you. I know you just want everyone to be happy rather than empathizing you with you multi-awarding worth of life drama.

I know how crazy it is. Cry if you need so. Nobody sees you. Weep until you forget what you're weeping about. Until you get back to your "I am ready again" self.

Few years ago, one of your college professors asked you to write on a sheet of paper the things you want to achieve someday, or how do you see yourself five years from now. I bet everyone have experienced that, not just you. Well, I remembered a couple of things that you listed.

One of it is TRAVELING. At that moment, you have no idea what lies ahead or if it is possible. Right? What you just have is a tiny shimmering HOPE listed in a piece of paper. But right now,where have you been? I guess you're realizing it now.

You've also listed to have your own business, house and car. I guess that explains your purpose why you're at that place right now. It means you're trying. YOU ARE TRYING.

Enough for yourself, I know you've listed something about your family as well. You said that you want to give your family a more comfortable state. You want them to feel that life is a lot easier because they have your support. And again, that pretty much explains why you are there. YOU ARE TRYING.

I still remember how you write about hope for other people. If you could read it for me, please? Because there's no valid reason right now to feel empty and to go self-pity. You are where you are right now because of your purpose. But if things don't go the way how you want it to, just let it happen. At least you've tried your best to go over it.

If you worry about what people might think or say about you, DON'T. You don't even owe them anything for you to please them. And giving them time is just pure waste.

So now, head up baby! Don't ever fake that smile again.


SMILE for people who truly care and love you...


SMILE for that tiny shimmering HOPE you had before, you can have it again, just as much as you could...


 SMILE for the people who mocks at your gain and laugh at your mistakes. They'll get tired of doing so, someday.


SMILE because we both know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Brand new chance of turning the remaining list into reality.


Just don't get too hard on yourself.

I love you!

God be with you all the time!

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